I’ve toyed with the idea of publishing a collection of jokes that I’ve collected in my head for a few years now. I recently started to type them up and was surprised to learn that with just the Q & A format, I have over six pages and counting. Wow. I wonder how far I’ll get when I begin to include the story jokes.
Here’s a small sampling of the jokes I’ve typed. Do you think I should keep going? Keep in mind, these are not safe for work, nor really for minors. I can’t believe I just typed that: I started collecting these at the ripe old age of 8…
Is it wrong to have sex before you are married? Only if you are late for the ceremony.
My sex life is a disaster. Last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts.
What’s a diaphragm? A trampoline for dickheads.
What’s the difference between medium and rare? 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.
Why didn’t Dolly Parton ever take up stage acting? They all said she’d be a big bust on Broadway.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton’s toes.
What was Dolly Parton voted in high school? Most likely to breast-feed Ethiopia.
Why was Joan Collins voted most popular girl at the US Cavalry dance? Because she was mounted more times than the horses.
Why was Joan Collins voted “Woman of the Year” by Screw magazine? Because she had more meat between her buns than McDonald’s.
Did you know that Rock Hudson was going to make a movie with Sylvester Stallone? They were going to call it Ram-Butt.
Did you know that Rock Hudson had his auto insurance canceled three times? He kept getting rear-ended.
Did you hear that Rock Hudson was thinking about buying a cookie franchise? He was going to call it Famous Anus.
Why was Billie Jean King such a good tennis player? Because she swings both ways.
What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits? 20 class rings fell out.
I know, most of these you already know about, but I’m hoping to include some you may not have. Not to worry, not all of the jokes are off-color, just the ones that came to mind first. I wonder what that says about me…
Do you have any you’d like to see included? Comment with them below, or private message me on facebook. I’ll credit you, naturally.