Another Disappointing Apocalypse

Man, I just can’t catch a break. Today was supposed to be the end of the world as we know it, but, dang it, I feel fine. For Feck’s sake, this makes the 4th apocalypse I’ve missed out on.

The comet that was supposed to hit the planet.

I don’t recall if it was the Hale-Bop comet, or the Shoemaker-Levy one, but one of those feckers was supposed to punch a hole through our planet in the 1990s. I had a hole in me when that didn’t happen.

Y2K was supposed to wipe us out.

Then, the “Y2K” scare of 1999 was based on predictions that programming errors, which never accounted for the year 2000 in millions of computer-based programs, would wreak global havoc at the end of that year. World was supposed to end in nuclear fire. I got heated when that didn’t happen. Sue me, I’m a fan of nukes going boom.

The Rapture. The disappointment it should have been called.

Next, California evangelist Harold Camping said he could “absolutely guarantee,” based on his Bible-based math, that on May 21, 2011, a grave-opening earthquake would let 200 million blessed souls get “caught up” or “raptured” into Heaven, while remaining billions would feel “horror and chaos” until Oct. 21, “when God will completely destroy this earth.” After the May date, Camping revised, declaring the real delivery date would be Oct. 21, when “the world is going to be destroyed all together … very quick.” I’m pretty cross about this one.

The Mayans decided today was a good day to die.

Which brings me to today. I had really high hopes for this one. I mean, the Mayans were some top-notch mathematicians. They built stuff that still stands today, 7,000 years later. My cell phone lasted a year… Surely they knew what was up, right? I mean, so what if they couldn’t predict the Spanish. This was bigger. This was the end of the world as we know it (but I feel fine)! *sigh* When I woke this morning, the first thing I said was, “Mayan! Another disappointment!”

Oh, well. Back to editing my book.