Category Archives: Know Me Better

65 Questions You Aren’t Used To

I found this questionnaire online and decided: “What the hell. It might be fun.”

 

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Nope. I see evidence of them all the time.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

That all depends on what I read before I turned out the light. One of the perils of having a highly active imagination.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Think about it for a moment.

4. What is your favorite word?

“Fuck.” It’s extremely fucking versatile.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A great bristlecone pine.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I actively avoid looking in mirrors, and so, don’t have one.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

I’m shirtless at the moment.

8. What do you label yourself as?

An asshole. Hell, everyone else does, sooner, or later.

9. Bright room or dark room?

Bright room.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Laying in bed, feeling like I was going to puke. It didnt happen, though.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

Twenty-four.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

The person I love most in the world. April 10th, 2014.

13. Your worst enemy?

Myself. I always manage to screw everything up, sooner, or later.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

This:

Mononoke Hime no Mori on Yakushima, Japan
Mononoke Hime no Mori on Yakushima, Japan

 

15. Do you like someone?

I like lots of folks, but I think this means romantically. I do. Shes actually a subscriber to my blog.

16. The last song you listened to?

This one: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Ox6cVMhvW5nl3UForWFHa

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

A fucking fucktard of a douchebag named Dan Boyce.  The reasons are myriad.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

The same fucker I named above.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

If it were consentual, as a type of role play that we’d talked about extensively before hand, it would be my love. And it would be the most onerous task she could imagine: Allowing me to pamper her all day. 🙂

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My arse. It is magnificent.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I’d have to be some sort of redhead, and I’d probably spend the day masturbating.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Yes! Convincing people I’m a fair writer.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

My fear is actually pretty pedestrian: Heights. To be precise, falling.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

A bacon/pineapple sandwhich.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

I’m not. It’s going on my prepaid debit card until I need it.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Land O’Lakes, Florida.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

The Greek Gods’ ambrosia. I want to be a diety, too.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

Only those I personally invite may come.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

“Fuck.”

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My laptop.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

None of them. All my experiences made me who I am today and led me to the woman of my dreams, even if she doesn’t want me. I’d never risk losing that.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

This one isn’t  question.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Issac Newton. Once he got over the time/culture shock, think of all he could help us create and learn.

34. What was your last dream about?

Walking along the beach at sunset, holding the hand of my love.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

No.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Many times.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes.

38. What is the color of your socks?

At the moment, I am barefoot. The ones I own are white, though.

39. What type of music do you like?

My tastes are eclectic, but leaning more towards rock orchestra.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

As a night owl, I prefer sunsets.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

American Football would be the New England Patriots and standard football would be Manchester.

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a few. Physical, mental & emtional.

44. Would you rather be immortal, but dependant on blood, or age 1000 times slower than everyone else?

Age slower than everyone else.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Whatever it is that makes me unlovable after a certain period of time.

46. Are you reliable?

From a certain point of view.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Have we gotten used to the lonliness yet?

48. Do you hold grudges?

With both hands.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Technically speaking, there are no laws of nature.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

This one. 😉

51. Are you a good liar?

I try my damnedest not to lie.

52. How long could you go without talking?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

In the 80’s (yes, I just dated myself), I briefly went with the spiked mohawk.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

And ate it, too.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Poorly.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Depends on my mood.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Squiggly lines. It was horrible.

58. What would be you dream car?

80’s model Corvette Stingray

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I do not.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Which version? From another country? Yep. From outer space? Also yep. However, we’ve not been visited by space aliens.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Only when I want a chuckle.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Aye

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinosaurs, because they were real.

64. What do you think about babies?

Which species?

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

What kind of way to end is that?

******

 

I hope y’all found this bit a little entertaining.

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Where I’ve Been

I want to say I’ve not posted here in a while because I’ve been writing, but that’s not 100% true. I mean, I have been writing, just not the whole time. I want to say it’s because my dad had a stroke, but that’s not 100% true either. He did have one, but that’s not the big reason.

To be honest with you folks, I’ve not been posting on my blog or writing like I should because I’m a procrastinator. Seriously, if there was an award for procrastination, I’d tell folks I was gonna send someone to pick it up for me, and then forget because something online caught my attention.

However, I think I may have it licked. I picked up a fan, somehow, who’s a complete stranger on Twitter, and she’s asked to see the rough draft of the sequel to my first novel. She’s promised to ask me every four days for a chapter update if I’ve not shared it with her.

What about the love of my life? She still inspires me and gets to read my work before anyone else, but her love for me makes her challenge me to do at least 1,000 words per day.

There we have it: Two challenges to get the procrastination kicked. If this doesn’t do it, I’m clearly not cut out to be a writer.

I Just Don’t Get It

When I meet people, and start to develop a liking for them, I tell them straight off, “I’m an asshole. Sooner, or later, everyone says so.” They inevitably say, “No you’re not. You’re just to hard on yourself. I’d never call you an asshole.” So far, I’ve been right. Every. Single. Time. And then, they act surprised, and hurt when they call me an asshole.

My inner reaction is, “Motherfucker, I told you!”

They all promise to never call me an asshole, and they all break said promise. No, I don’t hold them to it. But, I am honest about what I am. I have met about 10,000 people in my life. I’ve liked maybe a thousand, and warned about 200.

I know the flaw is with me. Being an asshole, I mean. I am abrasive, frequently condescending, and sarcasm is my first language. I am intolerant of willful stupidity, and will quickly lose my veneer of civility, and start mocking mercilessly when confronted with it. I am also intolerant of religion while being well versed in it, and its history. It is barbaric, and I think it is cruelty to teach it to children. Especially little girls. Why?

Because quite simply, it teaches them they are property, objects of little worth, and are meant to be subservient to males. I don’t like that. I fight against it as much as I can, where I can.

Why do I bring this up? Well, it’s because of a rather contentious conversation I had with someone very important to me who said that I seem so angry any more, like I have a chip on my shoulder. To her, I say, “No, Angel. This has always been me. You just haven’t seen it too often because I try to stay away from stuff like it, and my veneer of civility is quite a bit thicker. When i swim for too long in the muck of willful stupidity, it washes away a bit.”

I try to be nice, but it doesn’t always work, or last. I’m not really a nice guy. I am, however, an asshole. Am I proud of it? Well… that depends on my mood, and who I’m talking to.

Know Me Better Pt 3

Part one is here and part two is here.

 

11: Do you like your siblings? Why or why not?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It all depends on what is going on at the time. However, I always love them, and will do my best to always be there for them.
12: How did you meet your best friend and why did you become friends?

I met her on critiquecircle.com, which is a great resource for new writers. We became friends over shared experiences, love of reading, and we enjoyed each other’s work.

13: Name one movie that made you cry.

I was very young when Masters of the Universe starring Dolph Lundgren came out, and it made me cry because it had nothing to do with the cartoon I loved. Plus, he was too skinny to be He-Man!

14: Do you prefer to read poetry, write poetry, or neither?

Neither. I simply don’t get, nor understand it.

15: Things about someone who you find attractive?

I find their intelligence attractive as hell. Their sense of humor is also very sexy to me.

Know Me Better pt 1

I’ve done a couple of these before, but it’s been a while. So, that’s why this one is called pt 1. Well, that, and because it’s part of a series. If figured it would be fun to share with y’all, and to let you take a peek into the dark, twisted corridors of my mind. Some of the originally appeared on tumblr, but I don’t remember where I saw them. If you know the source, post a link in the comments, and I’ll update this to cite them.

 

1: What is your name and does it mean anything?

Robert. It means “Famous.” Obviously, I’m not there, but soon (I hope).
2: How long have you known your best friend?

I’ll  have known her two years, August 23.
3: What position do you normally sleep in?

The buff. 😉
4: Were you a part of any “clique” in high school?

A clique? Oh, no. I was an outsider in school. I always had my nose stuck in a book, and was seen as weird by the other kids. Of course, I didn’t help my case when I was attracted to a girl, and tried to pretend to be suave, and cool. Looking back, I was actually kind of creepy. Yeesh.
5: Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why?

That would be my science teacher, Ms Davis. That was because I thought she was attractive, and even better, she made science fun. It helped that she taught me how to make my own fireworks, too. 😀

Inspiration

The dictionary defines inspires as to influence, or to compel. So, if we extrapolate from there, we can infer that an inspiration is the agent, or catalyst. With is a remarkably convoluted way to say, “My best friend, Jen, is the biggest reason for me continuing to write.”

 

I don’t know how many times I’ve used her as the template for my heroines in my works. Whenever I get around to actually completing my revisions, and actually publish them, you’d see her influence in them all. For the most part, they merely highlight a part of her personality. There is one character, who shares her name, who is almost 100% her. How and why is she my inspiration? Well, that is a twofold question (obviously).

 

How

 

Jen is, for me, the perfect woman. She has intelligence, humor, a rapier wit, and nigh boundless enthusiasm for life. She believes in people. No matter what, she trusts that they will, if given the chance, show how wonderful they are. Has that bitten her in the ass? Of course it has. But you know what? She still believes in them.

She’s one of the best writers I know. Her world building is slow-paced, but her plotting is pretty tight. Where she truly excels, though, is her characters. You can easily imagine them coming off the page and sitting with you to strike up a conversation. I look forward to the day she gets published. Then, I’ll be able to brag that I’m best friends with my favorite author. How many folks can say that?

 

Why

 

In my life, not too many believed in me. I’m my biggest detractor. Jen, however, won’t stand for it. If I bitch and moan about something, she won’t hesitate to call me on it, or to give me the verbal kick in the ass that I need.

At the same time, when she knows that I’m truly down, or upset about something, she’ll remind me, “If you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen. I’m here for you.” Somehow, she always knows whether I need to hear trite, and tired “it’ll be alright” sayings, or if I need humor, sympathy, or “need me to kick someone’s ass.” She’s also full of great ideas for where to take my stories, or how to make them better.

 

Jennifer is my Ideal Reader. the one I write all of my stories for. I know that if I can make her laugh, or cry, or shout with amazement, that I will elicit the same for you.

 

So, thank you, Jen, for all you do for me. I don’t say it enough, I know, but I always – always appreciate you. You are my best friend, and the best person to come into my life so far. You may doubt yourself, but you can count on me always believing in you.

Holy Shit. People Have Actually Scared Me for the First Time.

On 12/12/2013, I had my eyes opened to something horrifying. A Facebook friend liked a status update about getting raw milk. For those few of you who might not know, raw milk is unpasteurized. I freely admitted, I started things off with some inflammatory snark.

Lunaticrantings3

Okay. That was a pretty reasonable response. You know, asking me to be nicer. However, pay close attention to the other stuff (which I admit, I missed until now): Non-government mandated life 9i.e. food, drugs, vaccinations, ect. Holy shit.

Little did I realize, this was the beginning of the horror show. This is my response:

responsetolunacy

Wait for it: Lunaticrantings2

See more of the crazy coming out? It’s in the post script: You have more chance of getting sick and dying from vegetables in the produce department or meats in the meat department, not to mention all the pharmaceutical drugs that have been approved as “safe…”

Wow. Here’s my response (note: I still hadn’t noticed the pharmaceutical line & some of the other commenters decided to fling names my way): responsetolunacy2

If you want to follow my link: http://www.fda.gov/Food/ResourcesForYou/consumers/ucm079516.htm Now, I’m thinking, “Okay, I gave them science based evidence. That should persuade them.” Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah. Right. Lunaticrantings

To quote my RageMaster 5000, “What the actual fuckity-fuck-fuck?!” (deep breath) This is my well-reasoned, and logical response: myrepsonses to lunaticrantings

Okay. Maybe not so reasoned, or logical. Certainly not emotion free. That last post from the owner of that page scared the fuck out of me. This is the 21st century. The Information Age. With all the access to science websites, blogs, FaceBook pages, and Twitter feeds, how the Hell can that shit exist? Seriously?

Not trusting the government is one thing, especially with shit like Senators tweeting pics of their junk, and bailing out Wall Street, and stuff like that, but this is science. Real science can’t lie. It can be skewed like everything else, but someone, somewhere will reveal it to be bullshit if so. I don’t mind that these people do this stuff, as I mentioned in my first post, “Darwinism works.” No, what really bothers me about this, is that these fools most likely have children who will suffer. I hate that. So, I reported the page. This is my first time doing so.

Last thing: If you want to see the original post in all it’s glory (though I hope it’s gone now), https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152008445118820&set=a.433917308819.223593.177240773819&type=1&theater&notif_t=photo_reply

Why I Could Never Commit Suicide

I’m writing this because yesterday I was feeling pretty damned depressed, and I posted a message on FaceBook which worried some of my friends. That post read: “If I could go to sleep, and not wake up, that would be great.” They interpreted that as meaning I would commit suicide. Thing is, none of them know that I can’t, and won’t, do so. The following is why.

###

I was twelve when it happened.  I had this really awesome friend, named Scott.  He was ten years older than me, three older than his sister, Lisa. I adored him so much, I occasionally called him, “Dad”.  He taught me how to play baseball, how to get women to notice me without making a fool of myself, how to find humor in just about any situation.  I’d have done anything he asked.  Without question.  As I said, “I idolized him.”  When I grew up, I wanted to be just like him.  There were a great many things he taught me.  Including his final lesson: Life, and love, are infinitely precious.

January 3, 1993.  I was supposed to meet Scott at his house at 1430 to go out and have a snowball fight.  We were going to ambush Lisa.  Even then, I had a crush on her.  He knew it, I’m sure, but he never made fun or even told her.  He simply said to wait until I was older and ask her to be straight with me.  Ten days later, she revealed her love of women to me. (But, that’s a story for another day.)

He’d always said if I was running late, to simply call and let him know.  This time I didn’t.  To this day, I can’t tell you why, or what I’d been doing to make me two hours late.  I used my key to go in, and called out to him as was my usual thing.  I didn’t hear any response.  I went walking through the place, trying to find him.   In the kitchen, I found a note from him.  “Rob, I’m in the bathroom, holler when you get in.  -Scott.  3 Jan 1425”

I went up to the bathroom and knocked on the door.  The door swung open a bit, and I leaned back, expecting him to jump out at me.  He’d been doing this to show me how to control my reactions and expect the unexpected.  Seconds later, there was still no Scott.  I looked in and discovered him.  He was in the tub, both wrists slashed.  They were cut so deeply, I could see the bones of his wrists.  The tub was filled with his blood.  It was so cold in there, that there was a skim of ice around the edges of the water.  For the longest time, I blamed myself.  If I’d not been late, or if I’d called, he might have still been alive.

The next thing I was aware of, was Lisa.  She took me by the hand and took me to her home.  I was completely numb.  (If you ask my folks, they’ll probably tell you that that was the most well-behaved I’d been in a long time.  If, they remember.)  For two days, Lisa talked at me.  I was simply unable to form a coherent thought, much less able to hold an intelligent conversation.  To this day, I don’t remember how she was able to successfully reach me.  All I remember was her telling me his philosophy.  But she put it forth as her own.  “Find the funny in the situation.”

She showed it to me with these words, “You know, for all his talk about his Johnson being unbearably heavy sometimes, he was awfully tiny.”  Her delivery was totally deadpan.  It was as if she’d just mentioned the weather.  It made me laugh until I cried.  It was completely unexpected.

As the days, weeks and months went by, she taught me that not only was it not my fault that he’d died, but there was a reason for it.  I simply had to learn what it was.  She never told me if I was right, or wrong with my conclusion.  Just said that it was mine.  Oddly enough, she didn’t really ever tell me what her feelings were.  Looking back, I now know that she was hurting just as much, if not more than, me.

There it is.  The reason I can’t tolerate suicide.  I don’t want to be a selfish coward.  Dying is the easy part.  The ones you leave behind are the true victims.  If you really love someone, you will live for them.  Even if you feel like your very existence is torture.  You will ask them to help you with your problems, not bottle them up until everything you touch becomes poison.

I Have A Confession To Make

Disclaimer: The authors I mention below are not among those I’m referring to in the post. All have helped me immensely, and are willing to do the same for other author-wannabes (like me). Two even have a website, and books dedicated to that. Another has a book too.  

 

Not too long ago, I read a couple of lines that made me realize: We writers are a rather arrogant bunch. I did some searching online to double-check, and I discovered, yep, we are. Here’s what I mean: I have read over 1,000 books, blog posts and articles over the last year that says not everyone can write a novel. I’m not going to cite any of them because a few were written by folks I’d like to consider my friends. Almost everyone said that only a select few can write novels, or they’d quote some statistic that says 80% of people think they can write a book, and then say that was bullshit. What we do is so hard. Um, no it isn’t.

Technically speaking, nothing is hard to do unless you don’t put in the time, and energy in learning how to do it. For me, building a space shuttle, a nuclear reactor, calculating pi, or even making bouillabaisse. I don’t know how to do those things. However, I can go learn how to, if I had the drive to. It’s the same thing with writing. Anyone can put words together to form sentences, then paragraphs, and then a manuscript. It’s not that hard.

What separates we writers from Joe, or Jane, Average is our drive to put words to paper, or screen. We have a compunction, or a predilection for doing so.  Hell, you can even say it is our obsession (some of them anyway. I’m pretty damned lazy for the most part). Something within us makes us get to a desk, or table, pull out our notebooks, pads, typewriters, or computers, and start stringing words together to form a story. Sometimes it is great, sometimes it sucks. Great thing is, what is awesome, and what is sucky, are subjective. For example, millions rave over The Twilight Saga, and 50 Shades of Grey. I can’t stand either.

“You’re not the target audience, asshole.”

Fair enough. I also can’t stand Terry Pratchett novels. Or some R.A.Salvatore ones. And you know what? Not one of those four I just mentioned even notice that I haven’t bought their stuff. They have millions of fans.

If you have any interest in some authors I do like, I can rattle off a couple of names (maybe you could go check ’em out, see if you agree with me): R.S.Guthrie, L.T.Kelly, Angela Ackerman, Becca Puglisi (Anglea & Becca are a writing team. They have separate links because I want to show both pages, and not have both names go to the same place. I’m weird like that. :P), Kevin Rau, Jen Boyce, Fabiola Surya. Jen & Fab don’t have links because their novels are not yet published, and they don’t yet have websites, though Fab does have a blog. Wondering how I can say Jen & Fab are some of my favorite writers? Simple: I get to assist these wonderful ladies in crafting their stories. I’m kinda blessed that way.

Why did I title this blog “I Have A Confession To Make”? I was one of those arrogant writers I mentioned. I am no longer. Now, if someone says to me, “I want to be a writer,” or “I can write a novel,” my response will be, “Go for it. I’ll be cheering you on. If there’s any way I can assist, let me know. I’ll be glad to.”

Wanna check out some of the above author’s works? Here’s a series of links to their stuff on Amazon:

Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi –  The Emotion Thesaurus, The Positive Trait Thesaurus, The Negative Trait Thesaurus

R.S.Guthrie – Black Beast, Ink, Blood Land (This one is Free)

Kevin Rau – H.E.R.O: Metamorphosis, H.E.R.O: New Markets, Necromancer’s Ascent

L.T.Kelly – Falling to Pieces (her debut novel. The second is in the works).

Why not show some love to these wonderful authors? Tell them R.w.Foster sent you.

My Treasure

As you may know, or remember, I am in love with a wonderful woman. The woman of my dreams, to be exact. So, I thought I’d tell you a little more about her, and how much she means to me. Since she’s a subscriber to my blog, I’ll be telling her, too. Before you ask, yes, I do tell her this stuff directly. I figure, every so often, a lady likes to learn how you feel indirectly, too.

My lady is intelligent. Yeah, I know: Every guy says this about his love (not true, but I get your gist). However, my lady has the college degree to prove it. Plus, she’s an author. Her début novel is still a few years away because she’s going traditional, and those feckers take forever to publish anything.

She has an awesome sense of humor. Again, I know: It’s almost a cliché. What I mean is that her humor is a lot like mine: She’ll laugh at something most folks like is horrible, like, “A baby seal walks into a club,” and yet, she’ll even giggle at the old Mark Twain classic, “Suppose you were a politician, or suppose you were an idiot. But I repeat myself.”

Yet, least you think I’m besotted, we don’t always see eye-to-eye. We recently had a disagreement, and she accused me of never giving her any credit. Like me, she has her flaws, but what makes her so wonderful to me is that in instances like this one, after we cool off, she’s willing to work things out. We end up stronger than before.

For me, Rishka is perfect. We complement each other so well, it’s like we’re literally two halves of the same whole. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Having her love makes things like this, and the part mentioned in the beginning of this post worth having gone through. Why? Because what I went through lead me to my Rishka. I’d not trade that for anything.

By the way, wondering what Rishka means? The answer is either here or over here. Sorry I don’t remember which.

 

Further reading:

https://beginingsinwriting.wordpress.com/2012/12/17/into-the-realm-the-chronicles-of-carter-blake-book-i-first-edit/

https://beginingsinwriting.wordpress.com/2012/10/29/into-the-realm-the-chronicles-of-carter-blake-raw-update-1/

https://beginingsinwriting.wordpress.com/2012/11/05/into-the-realm-the-chronicles-of-carter-blake-raw-update/