Category Archives: Random Stuff

Catch all category for stuff that doesn’t fit in the others.

Women

What the hell goes on in their minds? I’ve had two women now, that I was interested in, say to me (without using these exact words) that I wasn’t good enough for them because I don’t have a standard J-O-B at the moment. Fine. I can deal with that. But the crazy part is, they have both said that maybe when I get a job, we could get together. What the Hell?

Ladies, listen up: If I’m not good enough for you when I have nothing, you’re not good enough for me when I do.

Another thing I don’t understand: One of the two women I mentioned above thought I had lied to her and asked me about it. I came clean. It was a small lie: I’d said that a female from my first relationship took a couple of days to go to bed with me when, in reality, she went to bed with me the same day I ment her. No, I’m not saying I’m a PUA, this broad was nuts (I’m not going into it here). She was a flippin’ piranha and I was her next meal (not in the good way). Anyway, new girl, said she forgave me and was willing to let it go. Guess what didn’t happen? That’s right, she did not. Why would she say it was forgotten if it wasn’t? That’s really irritating, especially as she’d beat me with it every time she got pissed off.

So, in addition to me not having a job, I get labeled a BS artist and that’s another reason she’d never be with me. I inwardly shrugged and said, “Your loss.”

I think I’m a decent guy. I try to be anyway. Oh well. Maybe the next woman will be less crazy. 🙂

What do y’all think? Let me know in the comments below.

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My first book (Which is actually not Jennifer Steel)

My first manuscript is titled “Into The Realm: The Chronicles of Carter Blake.” The first draft is complete, and it’s being edited, before it’ll get submitted to Critique Circle.com. I’ll post some of it here in raw form if you would like to read it. Let me know in the comments below.

Good points: all of them.

Cristian Mihai

I usually try to avoid three things: controversial subjects, shameless marketing, and bar fights. And most of the time I’m lucky.

But today I feel like making a stand. Yeah, it’s late and the USB ports on my laptop stopped working, but I want to tell you my honest opinion about self-publishers and all the people who have been criticizing them.

A number of agents, editors, and traditionally published authors consider self-publishing as some sort of mistake. Self-publishers are just lazy. Why? Because they didn’t go through the route. They didn’t query agents, they didn’t get rejected over and over again. Stuff like that. Also, they’re bad to the world of publishing, because some of them did try to get published via the traditional way, but were rejected. Oh, and did I mention this stupid, stupid habit they have, of selling e-books well below what the big Six deem as…

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Hilarious scam attempt

I received the following in my spam box in my e-mail account. I had to laugh my ass off at it. Note the caps lock (to show urgency, I’m sure), the UN mention at the end (which isn’t even aware of my existence), the spelling errors, and my favorite: The fictitious country. Gotta love ’em.

ATTN: RE-CHANGE OF ACCOUNT,

THIS IS IN REGARD TO OUTSTANDING PAYMENT, I AM DR.PHIL WILSON; THE NEWLY APPOINTED DIRECTOR UNITED NATIONS; LEGAL AFFAIRS, SECURITY AND INVESTIGATION, THE SECRETARY-GENERAL BAN KI-MOON AND HIS DECISION MAKING BODY, HAS DIRECTED ME TO INVESTIGATE YOUR FUND AND TO MAKE SURE THAT WE APPROVE ALL OUTSTANDING DEBTS OWNED TO FOREIGN BENEFICIARIES BY THE GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA/BRITISH IN THIS 3 QUARTER OF THIS FISCAL

YEAR 2012.

THIS DECISION WAS TAKEN BASED ON THE ANOMALIES AND INABILITY OF THE BANKS IN NIGERIA/LONDON TO RELEASE YOUR FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT;WHEREBY IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT SOME DIRECTORS IN THESE BANKS WERE DIVERTING FOREIGN BENEFICIARIES PAYMENT TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT OF THEIR CHOICE OVERSEAS. IN VIEW OF THIS, DURING OUR INVESTIGATION I FOUND OUT THAT; AN ACCOUNT WAS SUBMITTED TO DIVERT YOUR FUND TO A GERMANY ACCOUNT. BELOW IS THE ACCOUNT SUBMITTED AND I WANT YOU TO CONFIRM IF YOU ARE AWARE OF THE NEW DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE WE ARE ABOUT EFFECTING PAYMENT TO THE ACCOUNT STATED BELLOW TODAY.

BENEFICIARY: CERSTIN WENGER SHENOUDA.

BANK: FRANKFURTER BANK

A/C NO.: 367840545

SWIFT CODE: 50050201

FINALLY, BE INFORMED THAT A PAYMENT INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN ISSUED AND FORWARDED TO THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERNATIONAL MONITORY FUND IN FAVOR FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND TO THE ACCOUNT ABOVEWITHOUT ANY FURTHER PREJUDICE. BUT THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN APPROVE THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHOUT YOU CONFIRMING IF YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR ACCOUNT FOR YOUR FUND TO BE TRANSFER TO THE BENEFICIARY: CERSTIN WENGER SHENOUDA BANK ACCOUNT IN GERMANY.

CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE GIVING INSTRUCTION TO TRANSFER YOUR FUND TO THE ABOVE ACCOUNT TODAY.ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE MANAGEMENT OF UNITED NATIONS, WE ARE CONGRATULATING YOU IN ADVANCE AND IF YOU FAIL TO CONTACT THIS OFFICE ON OR BEFORE 78 HRS FROM NOW THEN WE WILL NOW WIRE THE FUND TO THE GERMAN ACCOUNT.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE

YOURS FAITHFULLY

DR.PHIL WILSON

UN OFFICE OF LEGAL AFFAIRS

SECURITY AND INVESTIGATION

Islamaphobia (warning: Not safe for work)

It seems to me that every fucking time I turn around, some bleeding-heart Liberal dickcheese is screaming about “Islamophobia.” You know the types. The same types of people who call you a woman-hating sexist if you suggest that maybe an 8-month pregnant woman shouldn’t be loading concrete blocks for a living, or that you’re devaluing a woman and treating her like a sex object if you ask her to have coffee with you. Yeah, these no-brain dipshits.

So today I’d like to take some time to address this “issue” of Islamophobia. There seems to be a lot of confusion out there and it’s caused mainly by the very types of assholes who coined this stupid phrase in the first place. As always, I’m here to clear up your confusion.

First, let’s get back to the basics of how it all started. After the 9/11 attacks, there was a growing anti-Islam sentiment here in America, as well as a general distrust and dislike of anyone middle eastern. The “let’s love and hug everybody” Liberals were quick to point out that most Muslims were peaceful people and it’s racist to consider all middle easterners to be terrorists. And they were right about that, for the most part.

But those are two separate issues being discussed. One was the issue of hating a religious group, the other was an issue of hating an ethnic group. As different facets of an issue, those are legitimate topics. The problem has come when the two have been mixed. Fast-forward to 12 years after the attacks and what we now have is a “conform to our love-all bullshit” mindset where if you have a problem with something objectionable in the religion of Islam, you are now labeled an Islamophobe, which also incorporates the element of racism along with the idea that you hate the entire religion.

It’s sad that I need to actually say this, but here it is anyway: Islam is not a race. Hating it – even openly and unapologetically despising it – has nothing to do with any feelings one may have toward middle eastern people. This is one of those situations where the Left has tried so hard to be non-racist that they’ve actually done something racist. I’d like to ask all who hold this view: Where do you get off, implying that only middle eastern people are Muslim? I mean, if someone is truly phobic of Islam (which is a religion, not an ethnicity), then isn’t that a dislike of IDEAS and CONCEPTS? Ideas and concepts that are held by people of many different ethnicities all across the world, in fact! The idea that hating a religion that is stereotypically middle eastern is an idea that is, itself, racist as fuck! Perpetuating this idea is perpetuating the stereotype, assholes! Let me give a more clear-cut example of the kind of things that’s going on here.

Person A: Man, I hate fried chicken and watermelons!
Person B: WTF? You racist!
Person A: How the fuck is hating food racist?!
Person B: You clearly hate black people!
Person A: Wha…. how? *facepalm*

In the above example, Person A stated that he hated two food items which, in combination, are stereotypically associated with black Americans. Person B, being a sappy ass hippy Leftard, only heard the stereotype and his brain immediately locked on to that stereotype and nothing else, sacrificing the actual meaning of the statement itself. In his fervor to defend against racism, Person B became the racist that he thought he was castigating! Maybe Person A just doesn’t like the taste of fried chicken and watermelons. Maybe Person A wasn’t even thinking of the racist stereotype when he said that. But Person B was thinking of nothing BUT the racist aspect. Ladies and gentlemen, if you dig for racism around every corner, you are sure to find it, whether it really exists or not. And that, IS, racism!

By the same token, if someone states that they hate Sharia Law (for example) and you call them an Islamophobe (implying racism along with it), YOU become the racist! What has Sharia Law got to do with any ethnic group? No more than fried chicken and watermelons. In other words, no more than the connections that your secretly-racist little mind chooses to make! And it’s even more fundamental than that! The very act of using the term “Islamophobia” to imply racism IS RACIST in and of itself! When you do it, you’re associating Islam with middle eastern people in exactly the same way that Person B associated fried chicken and watermelons with black people! THAT’S A STEREOTYPE, FUCKNUT! And it’s racist! Yes, lots of Muslims are middle eastern. That’s true. But also, lots of black people actually do like fried chicken and watermelons. That’s also true. But is it fair to point out that truth to the exclusion of all others who enjoy fried chicken and watermelon; people of every ethnicity? Isn’t it racist to do so? So why then is it not racist to point out that there are middle eastern Muslims to the exclusion of all the many millions of Muslims who are not part of that ethnic group? The answer is simple: It IS racist to pretend that any anger, hate, or mistrust directed at Islam equates to anger, hate, or mistrust directed at people of middle eastern descent. YOU are the racist.

Phew…. Well, now that we’ve managed to get through discussing what Islamophobia ISN’T, maybe we can actually start talking about what it IS instead. Is that ok with you tree-huggers?

What is a phobia? According to dictionary.com:

“a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.”

So, if we alter the definition to fit Islamophobia specifically, we get:

“a persistent, irrational fear of Islam that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.”

The trouble with that definition, you see, is the word “irrational.” There’s absolutely nothing irrational about fearing people who have openly stated their goal of gutting the Infidels (that’s us). Those Islamists SHOULD be feared and, in that fear, disliked as well!

“But Galen, not ALL Muslim people are that way, in fact most of them are peaceful and wonderful people!”

Yes, I know. Unlike most of the people who spout this by rote, I’ve actually been friends with foreign Muslims while living overseas. I can indeed attest that every Muslim I’ve ever personally known has been very kind and wonderful. I’d also say that most Catholics are nice people who aren’t running around fucking little boys in the ass, but that doesn’t fucking excuse the ones who HAVE! You see, fucking idiots, when a group of people have become defined by the evil minority in their midst, it is now put upon them to either drive out the evil themselves or suffer the guilt-by-association for their failure to do so! If the Catholic Church had actually taken care of the pedophile priests, there wouldn’t have been a problem, but the leadership of the church and those within the church who had power made a choice to bury the problem instead. The majority of Catholics don’t approve of boy fucking, but what has that majority DONE about it? Not a goddamn thing, that’s what! Likewise, I would ask what have the majority of peaceful Muslims done to tell their leaders that endorsing a terrorist Jihad is unacceptable? About the same as the Christians who support gay marriage have done to let their leadership know to shut the fuck up and stop being hate-mongers. Not a damn thing! And so, in the public eye, all Catholics are seen to support pedophilia (even though most of them clearly don’t), all right-wing American Christians are seen to be homophobes (even though a great many of them are not) and all Muslims are seen to be terrorists are at least supportive of the terrorists (even though millions of them are not).

I’m not supporting unfair stereotypes. Not at all. But there’s the old saying, “If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” It’s not right and it’s not fair, but it IS the reality. Guilt by association is a powerful motivator and it’s not entirely unjustified.

Be that as it may, that’s not even really the point I was going for. The point is that if I say “I fucking hate Muslims, blowing our shit up all the time!” then it’s pretty damn obvious that I’m not talking about the peaceful nice fluffy cuddly Muslims. Isn’t that obvious to you? Or are you just so fucking eager for a fight that you choose to ignore it?

Another salient point here is that the kinder gentler Muslims are not following their own religion, so it’s difficult to think of them as actually being Muslims. You see, Islamic doctrine DOES command that all Infidels be put to death! Muhammad DID command that all the faithful of Islam should “terrorize” the unbelievers and murder them! See, when I say “I fucking hate Christians with their anti-gay bullshit!” I’m talking about the Christians who actually FOLLOW their Bible, which does indeed say that homosexuals should be put to death. By hating gays and denying them their rights, they are following their religion as much as modern law allows. The difference, for Muslims, is that the ones carrying out acts of terrorism don’t have laws stopping them from doing so. They have governments that support them and help them. And were are these Muslims and their supporting legal systems located?

Yes, now we get right back to it, don’t we? The middle east. When someone is “Islamophobic” it’s pretty obvious that they’re usually not hating the cuddly sweet Muslims. They’re hating the terrorist Muslims. And the terrorist Muslims, for the most part, are middle eastern. So if I say something Islamophobic, your reaction of taking it as racism tells me two things. Firstly, that you know it’s middle eastern Muslims I dislike. Secondly, you know this because you know they’re the ones guilty of all the fucktarded behavior like killing innocent people for not following their religion. So, your shouts of “Islamophobia!” not only show you to be a racist, but they also show to believe that middle eastern Muslims are guilty of terrible evil. I’ve just shown that, in your zeal to combat racism, you’re part of the problem.

But you’re a moron. It really doesn’t have anything to do with race. It has to do with culture, certainly. The fact that the terrorist culture is also of a specific race is an indictment of THEIR racist ways, not ours. I mean, the Third Reich was all one race too, but nobody called the Allied Forces bigoted for going after them! Why not? Because it’s not about who or what they are, it’s about what they’ve done and, in the case of Islam, what it’s still trying to do!

Islamophobia: “a persistent, justified fear and dislike of Islam that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.”

I don’t support racism for any reason, but I do support Islamophobia. They are not the same thing. They are not the same thing. Fucking say it with me: Islamophobia and racism are NOT THE SAME THING! I despise Islam as I despise all religions. It’s not that the people, as individuals, are bad. It’s that the IDEAS themselves are horrendous! The hatred and fear of Islam is a hatred and fear of IDEAS, not of people or ethnicity. And given the prevalence of immoral, irrational, unspeakable, unforgivable, evil ideas perpetuated by the Quran, this hatred and fear is JUSTIFIED!

I’d also like to point out that I’m Christianphobic for these same reasons. I’m also Scientologyphobic. The only “phobia” that matters here is the fear, distrust, dislike, and outright hatred of unconscionable ideas and pathetic “morals” that cannot stand unchallenged by a rational thinking society!

I’ve always said that the only bigotry I suffer from is a bigotry against the stupid. That remains true. If a middle eastern Muslim emails me tomorrow to say “Galen, I don’t hold those beliefs of killing Infidels and terrorizing other nations” then I will say “Good!” and that person is clearly smart enough to take their religion and throw out the shit they don’t like, which (on a subconscious level at least) is an acknowledgement that it’s all man-made bullshit anyway. Unlike many Atheists, I don’t begrudge someone their religious faith. Religious faith, all by itself, isn’t stupid, it’s just ignorant. Being ignorant is not a crime. But there is no level of ignorance that can possibly excuse the belief that your god wants you to end the lives of other human beings. That’s not ignorance, THAT is stupidity and THAT is what I HATE with every cell in my body!

You don’t get to claim “it’s their religious beliefs!” No. Not a chance, asshat! There’s a difference between a Christian who believes in God because they were raised in that culture and just don’t have the knowledge and understanding to see how it’s wrong compared to a Christian who thinks God’s messages of hate and death in the Bible are just fucking dandy to follow. We have an evolved tendency to assign agency to natural events (that is, to think there is a purposeful intent behind shit that happens), but we also have an evolved tendency to refrain from harming other human beings unless provoked. Both of these aspects of our nature can be overcome, but only one should be! When the former tendency (agent-seeking) becomes a pathway to overcoming the latter tendency (murder aversion), you’re doing it wrong!

And that’s the problem (the ONLY problem) with the Muslim religion. When practiced as its founders intended it to be practiced and as its holy book instructs, it takes ignorance and transforms it into willful stupidity – dangerous willful stupidity!

I do hate that.

I do FEAR that.

Anyone with a critically-thinking intellect will feel the same.

From: snipeme.com

A new writing project

I’ve toyed with the idea of publishing a collection of jokes that I’ve collected in my head for a few years now. I recently started to type them up and was surprised to learn that with just the Q & A format, I have over six pages and counting. Wow. I wonder how far I’ll get when I begin to include the story jokes.

Here’s a small sampling of the jokes I’ve typed. Do you think I should keep going? Keep in mind, these are not safe for work, nor really for minors. I can’t believe I just typed that: I started collecting these at the ripe old age of 8…

Is it wrong to have sex before you are married? Only if you are late for the ceremony.

My sex life is a disaster. Last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts.

What’s a diaphragm? A trampoline for dickheads.

What’s the difference between medium and rare? 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Why didn’t Dolly Parton ever take up stage acting? They all said she’d be a big bust on Broadway.

How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton’s toes.

What was Dolly Parton voted in high school? Most likely to breast-feed Ethiopia.

Why was Joan Collins voted most popular girl at the US Cavalry dance? Because she was mounted more times than the horses.

Why was Joan Collins voted “Woman of the Year” by Screw magazine? Because she had more meat between her buns than McDonald’s.

Did you know that Rock Hudson was going to make a movie with Sylvester Stallone? They were going to call it Ram-Butt.

Did you know that Rock Hudson had his auto insurance canceled three times? He kept getting rear-ended.

Did you hear that Rock Hudson was thinking about buying a cookie franchise? He was going to call it Famous Anus.

Why was Billie Jean King such a good tennis player? Because she swings both ways.

What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.

What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits? 20 class rings fell out.

I know, most of these you already know about, but I’m hoping to include some you may not have. Not to worry, not all of the jokes are off-color, just the ones that came to mind first. I wonder what that says about me…

Do you have any you’d like to see included? Comment with them below, or private message me on facebook. I’ll credit you, naturally.

Day 2

This bloody site is rather difficult to use yet. I created a page and published it, yet I can’t find it on the front. This means other won’t be able to find it either. Damn it. I tried linking to it, but no dice. I also tried to create buttons for stuff, but also, no go. I’ll try again tomorrow. In the mean time, it’ll have to be a post. Does anyone else have these issues?

I’m debating whether I want to post about personal difficulties, or if I should just keep this about my writing. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

Day 1

Everywhere I turn, I see, or hear, “You must have a blog. You must connect to facebook. You must have a twitter feed. They are how you connect to your fans.”

But I don’t have any fans yet. I’m just getting started.

“It doesn’t matter. Do it anyway.”

What about the authors who connected to their fans before facebook, twitter, blogs, or even the internet?

“You aren’t as good as them.”

Well, gee. Thanks.

 

Well, if this is how to do it, here we go. I just am not sure what all to write about besides my stories. Oh! I know: I’ll write about some of my favorite sites and provide links. So, (to misquote Stephan King) take my hand as we walk through the dark together. It’s better this way, isn’t it?