More raw Jennifer Steel

As she walked down the hallway, Jennifer noticed it becoming brighter. Soon, she was able to see the walls of the hallway were lined with shelves. She paused and went to check the contents of a shelf lined with thousands of movies. She picked up a handful and began reading the titles out loud.
“‘Debbie Does Dallas’? ‘Busty Asian Beauties’? ‘Nigga Cock, Interracial Sex: An NCIS Porn Parody’? What the fuck? Did I somehow end up in Rob’s room?”
Not that she had ever been in there. It just seemed like what his room would be like. ‘Ewww,’ she thought. ‘I did not need that mental image in my head.’ She tossed the movies back on the shelf. She continued walking down the corridor, determinedly not looking at the walls. Jennifer once more began seeing the trail of blood. To her dismay, the path of blood began to widen and freshen. She was so focused on following the blood, she failed to notice the hallway had widened into a large room with three others branching out.
Soon the crimson stain was as wide as a human torso and wet. A sickly, coppery scent was in the air. The cloying perfume was so thick, Jennifer was able to taste it. She gagged and nearly puked. Resolutely, she forced her gorge back down and moved forward. She looked up from the blood and had to bite back a scream. Her best friend Danni was hanging from a tree with a spike driven into her skull. Blood had turned her blond hair a dull pink. Her blue eyes stared into eternity. She was also missing her lower half of her body as if someone had literally torn her in two.
A growling began behind her and stopped as suddenly as it began. Jennifer whirled, tightening her fingers on her H&K Tactical .45’s solid grip. An enormous monstrosity was crouched and ready to spring. It had the curved, forward pointing horns like a ram, a muzzle like that of a Hollywood dragon, back plates like Godzilla and long, sharp claws. It was poised like a cat ready to pounce: its muscles coiled and bunched. As soon as she had completed her turn, the monster leaped. Without flinching, or even blinking, she squeezed the trigger of the gun as Rob had taught her. Eleven shots thudded home in its torso, but the beast seemed not to have noticed. Its momentum allowed it to crash into her, sending her sprawling. The bullets had done one thing, it knocked the monster far enough off its trajectory that Jennifer was able to regain her feet and look around for another weapon. Not too far away, she saw a rack of middle ages weapons. She ran over as fast as she could. There were a variety of weapons: a heavy-looking battle-axe which she wasn’t certain she could lift, much less wield; a big club with a bigger spike ball attached to the top; a long stick connecting a chain to a spiked ball; and a long, pure white sword. Thinking quickly, Jennifer grabbed the pure white sword and whirled around to fight the monster.
To her surprise, the big thing was directly in front of her. Before she could bring the sword up to defend herself, there was a dark blur before her eyes, a flash of silver and a spray of red. She flinched, expecting to feel the large claws of the monster rip into her, but nothing happened. It just stood there. She hesitantly poked it with the tip of the sword, and as if in slow motion, its head dropped to the ground. She swore with disgust and revulsion when blood geysered over her. She soon forgot her disgust as her attention became drawn to the sword.
The pure white blade slowly warmed in her hand. To her surprise, the blood from the monster was swiftly being drawn into the pommel of the white blade as if the sword was sucking it through a straw. As more of the blood was absorbed, warmth slowly spread through her body, starting from where she held the sword. As the warmth spread through her body, Jennifer found that she was feeling more energized and awake. Within minutes, all the blood was gone. She looked around for her rescuer, but no one was around. She found herself wondering about the odd blur. She went back to her friend’s body, trying to steel herself for the grizzly task of taking her body down and taking her home. However, when she returned to the tree, the only thing there was a bloodstain and a piece of paper. She tore the paper from the tree and read it.

It’s not her.
Keep looking

Jennifer scowled down at the message and the puzzling scribble, but decided to shove it in her back pocket and resume looking for her friend. Her instincts told her to trust the mysterious author.


A new writing project

I’ve toyed with the idea of publishing a collection of jokes that I’ve collected in my head for a few years now. I recently started to type them up and was surprised to learn that with just the Q & A format, I have over six pages and counting. Wow. I wonder how far I’ll get when I begin to include the story jokes.

Here’s a small sampling of the jokes I’ve typed. Do you think I should keep going? Keep in mind, these are not safe for work, nor really for minors. I can’t believe I just typed that: I started collecting these at the ripe old age of 8…

Is it wrong to have sex before you are married? Only if you are late for the ceremony.

My sex life is a disaster. Last night the Red Cross showed up with coffee and doughnuts.

What’s a diaphragm? A trampoline for dickheads.

What’s the difference between medium and rare? 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Why didn’t Dolly Parton ever take up stage acting? They all said she’d be a big bust on Broadway.

How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton’s toes.

What was Dolly Parton voted in high school? Most likely to breast-feed Ethiopia.

Why was Joan Collins voted most popular girl at the US Cavalry dance? Because she was mounted more times than the horses.

Why was Joan Collins voted “Woman of the Year” by Screw magazine? Because she had more meat between her buns than McDonald’s.

Did you know that Rock Hudson was going to make a movie with Sylvester Stallone? They were going to call it Ram-Butt.

Did you know that Rock Hudson had his auto insurance canceled three times? He kept getting rear-ended.

Did you hear that Rock Hudson was thinking about buying a cookie franchise? He was going to call it Famous Anus.

Why was Billie Jean King such a good tennis player? Because she swings both ways.

What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.

What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits? 20 class rings fell out.

I know, most of these you already know about, but I’m hoping to include some you may not have. Not to worry, not all of the jokes are off-color, just the ones that came to mind first. I wonder what that says about me…

Do you have any you’d like to see included? Comment with them below, or private message me on facebook. I’ll credit you, naturally.

Jennifer Steel (raw) update

Jennifer slid the .45 in the holster at the small of her back and pulled out a Capone cigarillo. She inhaled the first drag, glad Rob wasn’t around to see this. He would lecture her about being mean to his Kirei. She smiled at the memory of when he decided that was to be her nickname. At the same time, she was glad for Rob’s weird feeling. She thought she might need the gun. She grabbed her Maglite from the glove compartment as well and began searching for her friend. She depressed the three pound light’s button and played the powerful beam over the ground. She saw a few scuff marks and old tire tracks, but no other indication that anyone had been in the area. When she came back to where she’d found the laptop, she found a smear of blood. The dark smear went in passed the gate. She drew her gun and switched her grip on the flash light. Jennifer held the barrel of the light in a reverse grip, pointed forward and the HK rested on her wrist and also pointed forward. As Rob had showed her, her index finger rested alongside the barrel of the gun near the trigger guard.
Jennifer went through the gate, looking around for more blood, the gun following her eye movements. She soon found a trail of blood heading towards the old funhouse. Before following it in, instinct made her kneel by a splash of blood and touch it. It was tacky. ‘Maybe an hour old,’ she thought. The relative freshness of the blood gave her hope that her friend was still alive. She carefully entered the funhouse and played the powerful beam of light around the building. It no longer appeared to be a maze like in its heyday; too many mirrors were broken to maintain that illusion. As Jennifer made her way further into the abandoned building, glass crunched under foot. The perfect silence was eerie. She had never been in a place where the only sounds she could hear were her heartbeat and her own breathing. She knelt by another splatter of blood and touched it. This one was fresher, not as tacky as the spot outside. While she checked the blood, she heard the crunch of glass under someone’s foot. She whipped around to the direction of the step, shining the light. Her fist tightened on the grip of the gun.
“Who’s there?!” she called, flipping away the cigarillo.
There was no answer. She decided to try a bluff.
“L.AP.D!” she yelled. “Identify yourself!”
A chuckle sounded from behind her. She spun around on her knee, shredding her jeans and knee on broken glass. She cussed under her breath as she moved the flashlight around, searching for the source of the laughter. She couldn’t see, or hear, anything but got a weird feeling that something big was rushing at her. She rose to her feet in a hurry, turning to where it felt like it was coming at her and fired off four quick shots. The bursts of sound caused the tension to drain away, but she still didn’t see anything. Jennifer stood in the new silence, ears ringing, heart racing and lungs burning. Another crunch of glass caused her to run in the opposite direction, whimpering at the pain in her bleeding knee. She came to a dead end in a long corridor. It terminated in three doors. The one on the left had a picture of an open treasure chest filled with gold and jewels, the one in the middle had an image of a skull and crossbones and the one on the right had a picture of a dragon battling a tiger. The details were breathtaking. The crunch of glass came faster. She reached for the door with the carving of the dragon battling with the tiger and strode in, gun raised and flashlight forward.
As the door swung shut behind Jennifer, a tall, dark haired man approached it. He lightly ran his fingers over the intricately carved surface, deep in thought.
“That’s not supposed to be here,” he murmured.
The man opened the door and stepped through behind her.

As I promised…

I’ve discovered some fantastic resources for my writing. There’re listed below with a short blurb about why I like them and links to them.

The Bookshelf Muse: This blog, by two YA authors, is a great writing resource. It features things like a Setting Thesaurus, which helps beginning writters with describing locations; a Character Traits Thesaurus, which helps flesh out your characters; and a few others. Bookshelf Muse

The Emotion Thesaurus: A book, written by the authors of The Bookshelf Muse, that aids you in showing, not telling, how your characters are feeling. I have a copy, and it really has helped improve my work. Buy a copy here: Emotion Thesaurus

AutoCrit Editing Wizard: Kind of self-explanatory. With the free version, you paste your work (5oo words) and press the analyze button. The wizard will indicate what words are overused, sentence variation and cliche’s & redundancies. AutoCrit Wizard

I’ll post more later.

More Jennifer Steel (1st Draft)

Rob climbed into Jennifer’s truck. He buckled his seatbelt and turned to her. She leaned forward so he could lightly pinch her cheeks.
“Awww, look at these cheeks! They’re so cute!” he said in a high-pitched voice.
She grinned as she always did when he did this. He seemed to get a kick out of the game, and she thought it was a fun ritual, too. That was the biggest reason they started doing it almost as soon as they saw each other.
“So, where are we going?” she asked him when he turned back. She chose not to say anything about seeing that gleam in his eyes again. They had already gone over that ground enough.
“Head to B&A boulevard, Kirei-kun,” he said. “I’ll let you know where to turn and what not. I’m not spoiling the surprise.”
She sighed. “Alright.”
They drove for a half an hour with Jennifer turning as he indicated until they arrived at a long brick two story building with a green roof. Rob climbed out and strode around to her side of the truck and opened the door for her. After she climbed out of the truck and he closed the door, he led her to the long building, lightly draping his arm across her shoulders. She grinned up at him.
Rob opened the door of the building for her and gave the usual exaggerated bow. Jennifer grinned at him and entered. He flowed behind her. A short, portly man dressed in a white buttoned shirt and blue jeans greeted them.
“Howdy folks. How may I help you?”
“Hey, Bill,” Rob said, “Is Bart available?”
“Yep. I’ll get him,” was the reply. The balding older gentleman walked behind the counter and headed into the office. Jennifer began to look around the room they were in. Guns of all kinds were displayed on the walls and in the case under the counter. Rob pointed out and named some of the unfamiliar ones to her. On six different occasions, she named them before he could. He grinned with pleasure each time she did.
Moments later, a tall, dark haired young looking man with blue eyes stepped out of the back. He was dressed in a black vest, white button shirt and black jeans. As the door opened, Jennifer heard the tell-tale sounds of gunfire. The dark haired guy waved at Rob.
“Hey, Rob. You here for the package?”
“Yep. This is Kirei, the pretty filly I’ve been tellin’ ya about. Kirei, this is Bart.”
“Glad ta meetcha, little lady,” Bart said jovially, shaking her outstretched hand.
“Likewise, Mr. Bart.”
Bart chuckled. “Just Bart, ma’am.” He turned back to Rob. “What’s a kirei?”
“Kirei is the Japanese word for pretty. It’s a nickname I gave her.”
“You still givin’ folks random nicknames?” He shook his head.
“That’s right, Keebler.”
Jennifer smiled. “Why ‘Keebler’?”
Bart looked at Rob. “You tell her.”
Rob laughed. “Two reasons. One, that’s his favorite brand of cookie. The other is because he’s an original hippie.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“He was a hippie in the 60’s. Tree hugging, peace slogan shouting, the whole works.”
“But, you own a gun shop.”
Rob sang, “Isn’t it ironic?”
“Don’t sing!” his friends chorused, then laughed.
The tall man lifted a small teak chest onto the counter. He turned it so it faced the two of them and tilted the lid back. Inside, resting on red velvet was a gun. It was matte black and looked deadly even just sitting there.
“It’s a Heckler & Koch tactical .45,” Rob said. “It’s a civilian version of the SEAL’s sidearm, compact and light weight. Pick it up.”
Jennifer gingerly lifted the gun from the chest. It was the first time she had actually held one. Its cold lethality was a little intimidating.
“The USP is a semi-automatic pistol with a mechanically locked breech using the short recoil method of operation. This rather conventional lock-up system has a large rectangular lug over the barrel’s chamber that rides into and engages the ejection port cut-out in the slide. When a cartridge is fired, pressures generated by the ignited powder drive the cartridge casing back against the breech face on the slide, driving back both the barrel and slide as they remain locked together in the manner described above. After 3 mm (0.12 in) of unrestricted rearward travel, the projectile has left the barrel and gas pressures have dropped to a safe level. A shaped lug on the underside of the barrel chamber comes into contact with a hooked locking block at the end of the steel recoil spring guide rod, lowering the rear end of the barrel and stopping the barrel’s rearward movement. The recoil spring assembly is held in place by the slide stop lever’s axis pin and a round cut-out at the front of the slide. For enhanced reliability in high-dust environments, the locking surface on the front top of the barrel’s locking lug is tapered with a forward slope. This tapered surface produces a camming action which assists in positive lock-up in the presence of heavy fouling and debris. In this way, the USP shares many design features with the M1911 pistol, although apparently updated for easier operation,” Bart said.
With that, he placed two boxes of .45 caliber ammo on the counter and stepped back through the double doors he’d exited. Rob turned to Jennifer an gave her such an intent look, she felt a shiver race up and down her spine.
“Do you know how to load this?” he asked.
“I’ve never even held one before,” she admitted.
“Right. Pay close attention.”
She nodded and he began to explain the loading of the HK while explaining the steps to her. He guided her through the steps twice before having her try them. He allowed her to fail twice, praising her each time. Rob then placed his hands over Jennifer’s and showed her the proper movements. It felt weird having his body so close to hers, but she tried her best to ignore it. After guiding her movements in loading and unloading the .45, he stepped back and watched as she successfully loaded the gun. He once more praised her and led her to the back.
“This is the firing range. We’re gonna teach you how to shoot.”
After an hour of work, Jennifer had gotten to the point where she put all 15 shots in a tight ½ inch spread. They left the range and stopped in the front of the store. On the counter where the teak chest had sat was a cleaning kit. Rob showed her how to break the gun down and carefully clean and reassemble it. He then slid it into a holster and clipped it to the small of her back. She involuntarily gasped when his fingers brushed her thong, but fortunately, he didn’t seem to have heard. He tugged her t-shirt back into place and handed her a laminated card.
“It’s a carry concealed permit. Keep it and the weapon on you.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I have a feeling you’ll need it.”

Day 2

This bloody site is rather difficult to use yet. I created a page and published it, yet I can’t find it on the front. This means other won’t be able to find it either. Damn it. I tried linking to it, but no dice. I also tried to create buttons for stuff, but also, no go. I’ll try again tomorrow. In the mean time, it’ll have to be a post. Does anyone else have these issues?

I’m debating whether I want to post about personal difficulties, or if I should just keep this about my writing. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

Jennifer Steel (1st draft)

Jennifer stepped out of her tan Isuzu Rodeo and shut the door after locking it. She looked around, but couldn’t find her friend Danni. ‘That’s odd. Danni’s usually at our meeting spots before I am,’ she thought. She looked around at the deserted amusement park. It had closed down years ago, but the city never seemed to have the money, or inclination, to tear the place down, or do anything else with it. Even though she preferred the darkness, Jennifer had to admit to herself that the area was giving her the willies. She walked closer to the gate. The steady wind began to pick up. Near the base of the gate, Jennifer saw a slumped shape. ‘Oh, God, Danni!’ Jennifer thought as she rushed over. However, it wasn’t her friend slumped over by the bottom of the gate. Instead, it was her ever present laptop next to a pile of garbage bags. She bent over and picked up the computer. It was a little dinged up, but it still powered on. When the screen lit, Jennifer let out a small scream: there was a lot of blood on the keyboard. She resisted her first urge to throw the laptop away from her in revulsion and instead carried it over to her truck. She set it on the hood and attempted to wipe off some of the blood from the screen. It smeared a bit, but then she was able to see the login box. She thought for a few moments, then typed in Danni’s favorite phrase: “Rob is a hottie!”
She shook her head at that. The Rob in question was a friend she had met at a coffee shop/internet café. He was a little annoying, but he was fun, too. She had introduced him to Danni about a month ago and she couldn’t stop talking about him. Rob, for his part, was completely oblivious. Jennifer enjoyed teasing him about how much he wanted to date herself, and had even more fun verbally playing the role of his boyfriend and having him play the role of her girlfriend. He was even willing to play dress up for her. She chuckled: Rob only did that stuff because he wanted to go to bed with her. Naturally, he claimed otherwise.
The computer beeped and displayed a wrong password notification. A hint also appeared: Fibonacci. That made no sense to her. She shrugged and put the laptop into her truck. After stashing it under the seat, she pulled the gift that Rob had given her earlier in the day from the glove compartment. Seeing it again caused her to flash back to him giving it to her.

part 2 is here

Day 1

Everywhere I turn, I see, or hear, “You must have a blog. You must connect to facebook. You must have a twitter feed. They are how you connect to your fans.”

But I don’t have any fans yet. I’m just getting started.

“It doesn’t matter. Do it anyway.”

What about the authors who connected to their fans before facebook, twitter, blogs, or even the internet?

“You aren’t as good as them.”

Well, gee. Thanks.


Well, if this is how to do it, here we go. I just am not sure what all to write about besides my stories. Oh! I know: I’ll write about some of my favorite sites and provide links. So, (to misquote Stephan King) take my hand as we walk through the dark together. It’s better this way, isn’t it?

Welcome to my rantings, ravings, and early looks at my Writings.

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