Tag Archives: Acceptance

A Conversation With A Well-Meaning Friend

The other day, I had the following conversation with a friend, who I will call WMF. Wait, that doesn’t look right in type. I’ll call her Jennifer. No, that’s not her real name, I just like saying, and typing it. Jennifer. 😀 Okay, I’m attracted to a Jennifer, and I think she knows it. Anyway, let’s get to the convo before I get too distracted with my thoughts of the lovely Jennifer…

Jennifer: My girlfriend came out to me yesterday. I have two gay friends! Yay!

Me: You’re cheering that you have two gay friends? Why?

Jennifer: Because it’s awesome! It means I’ve grown enough as a person to be able to accept their sexuality, and they trust me. Don’t you have any gay friends?

Me: (shrug) I don’t know. (I do, but you’ll see why I didn’t say so)

Jennifer: How can you not know? Haven’t they told you?

Me: It’s possible. Even probable. If so, I forgot.

Jennifer: (aghast) How could you forget something like that?!

Me: It’s irrelevant.

Jennifer: No. It’s not. It’s an important part of who they are!

Me: No. It’s a tiny aspect of who they are. To me, they aren’t a gay guy, or gal. They are friends. I have no interest in their sexuality. Their sex life is not relevant to me. I’m not my gay friend’s – if I have any – type.

Jennifer: What about their causes?

Me: What about them?

Jennifer: Don’t you support gay marriage?

Me: Yup. Gay folks have just as much right to be miserable as everyone else.

Jennifer: (laughs) That’s mean.

Me: Okay, not miserable. But, they do deserve to get married if that’ll make them happier. They deserve to be treated with as much respect and dignity as anyone else.

Jennifer: Then how can you say you don’t care if you have gay friends?

Me: Because that is what acceptance is. Not caring about their sex lives. Not identifying people based on who, or what, they are attracted to. I care about two qualities in people: Their intelligence, and their sense of humor. The way I look at life is: As long as no one gets hurt, do what you want.

Jennifer: Oh. That makes sense.