Tag Archives: bisexual

A Conversation Between Carter Blake & Lucas Rumpff

I wonder how much hate this is gonna net me? Not too much I hope. It’s a work of fiction, after all. Oh well.

“Have you heard of Jesus Christ?” He slapped his forehead. “Of course you have. What am I thinking?” He gave me a wry smile. “Anyway, I’m directly descended from Him.” Lucas nodded. “Yep. That’s where I get my abilities from.”

I narrowed my eyes. “How can one alleged to be so pure spawn one such as you?”

“That’s the key word, isn’t it? Alleged. You see, just like any other demigod, Jesus wasn’t predisposed to good, or evil. Hell, he was a huge disappointment to his father.” He laughed at my quirked eyebrow. “Yeah, Yahweh wasn’t too pleased with the way His Son was preaching about love, peace, and tolerance. What? You think in thirty-three years, a deity would cease being a douche? Fuck no. As a matter of fact, Jesus was supposed to be more like his older brother, Moses.”

“Wait a minute.” I rubbed the back of my head. “I though Moses was supposed to have lived long before Jesus.”

“He did. Mary of the House of David wasn’t the only mortal Yahweh knocked up. He also fathered Moses and a few others. Yahweh impregnated mortal women for both sport, and for prophets. Seems he was more like Zeus than he would have admitted.” Lucas chortled.

“So, if Jesus wasn’t supposed to be teaching the whole peace love and hugs spiel, what was He supposed to preach?” I said.

“This is rich. He was supposed to be scaring folks straight. Kind of like Moses tried before the Exodus. He did a pretty good job of it, too. Earned Himself a gorgeous redhead of a wife. You may have heard of her. Mary Magdalene?”

“Yeah. The one Christians largely condemn as a whore.”

“Paul was a dick for that. But, jealousy does weird things to people. The real downfall of Jesus came when he met Judas.”

I remembered this tale from when I went to Sunday school. “He betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver.”

Lucas shook his head. “Nope. That’s Mary Magdalene’s lie.”

That knocked me for a loop. “What?”

“She framed Judas.”

“Why the hell would she do that? Wait, wouldn’t that also mean she betrayed Jesus?” He nodded. “Why would she do that?”

“As I said: ‘Jealousy does weird things to people.’”

“Why was she jealous of Judas?”

“Her husband forsook her for him. Soon after Jesus met Judas, they fell in love.”

“Wait. You’re telling me Jesus was gay?”

“Bisexual, actually. He fathered two children with Mary. And, He did love her. Judas just captured His heart.”

“Let me guess,” I said. “Judas got Jesus to preach the peace, love, and tolerance.”

“Very good, Carter.”

I rolled my eyes so hard, I nearly knocked myself out. As it was, I got a killer headache. “As fascinating as all this is, what the hell does it have to do with us?”

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3 Friends pt 3

continued from here

Jean (leans forward): Tell us more?

Elise: Yes, please?

Danielle: You guys remember how Jason broke my heart?

Elise: (rolls her eyes) Oh my god, yes! I thought you’d never shut up about him.

Jean: Elise! Swats her shoulder. Tact! it is our friend.

Danielle: She’s right, Jeanie.

Elise: See? (disbelieving) Wait, what?

Danielle (chuckles): Yeah, I was too hung up on the guy that took my virginity. Or, rather, that I gave it to.

Jean: Don’t let Elise fool you. She and I went through the same thing.

Elise (impatient): Yeah, yeah, old news. Tell us about Emma. Where’d y’all meet?

Danielle: We met in Tampa last month when I was down there for work. After a stressful round of meetings, I decided to hit a club. I was also hoping for a one-nighter to see if that would push Jason out of my mind. None of the guys that night caught my interest. Just as I was about to give up, she walked in. Her flame red hair caught my attention from the moment she entered the place.

Elise (impatient): Tell us: How is she as a lover?

Danielle (laughs): She’s between your guys, ladies. Our first two times together, it was slow, and tender. Our third, was wild and intense.

Jean: More details, please?

Danielle: No. I’d rather not.

Elise: Why not?

Danielle I’m shy. And it’s private.

Jean: Fair enough.

Elise (incredulous) What? How is that, Jeannie? She got to hear our tales, but we don’t get to hear hers?

Jean: That’s right. We respect each other’s choices, remember?

Elise (sighs): Yes. I’m sorry, Danni.

Danielle: It’s okay. Do you want to hear about our first date?

Jean & Elise: Yes!

Danielle: It was fun, and romantic. She handed me a present and said that it was for our date. It was too soft for jewelry, and too small for an outfit. I tore open the paper to discover a bag of balloons. Emma then told me I had five minutes to “ammo up”. We had ourselves a fun little water balloon fight. It’s a lot of hard work picking up the remnants of a thousand balloons.

Elise and Jean laugh and share a glance, causing them to laugh harder.

Danielle: We then went to De Grassi’s for a candlelight dinner. Between the appetizer, and entrée, she paid the pianist to play Clair de lune, then she pulled me to my feet for a dance. After dinner, we walked through the surf in the moonlight. (smiles)

Elise: Awwww. That’s so awesome.

Jean: I’m envious.

Danielle: Your turn, Elise. Tell us about your first date.

3 Friends pt 2

Continued from here.

Danielle: What about me?

Jean: Tell us about your new man.

Danielle: Woman.

Jean: (surprised) Ye- wait, what?

Danielle: (shrugs) I’m bisexual.

Elise: (smiles) More options, right, Jeannie?

Jean: (laughs) Yes, indeed. So, will you tell us about her?

Danielle: (softly) You don’t hate me?

Elise: Why the hell would we hate you, silly?

Danielle: Because I’m attracted to women.

Jean: News flash, Danni: Elise and I were college lovers.

Elise: Yeah. Only thing you have to worry about is if my little brother finds out.

Danielle: (puzzled) Why is that?

Elise: The worm already has a crush on you. If he learns you are attracted to women too, he’d probably be asking you to marry him. (laughs)

Danielle: I’m not promiscuous. Nor am I into three ways.

Jean: Hey, no knocking the three-way. They are awesome. Drains her glass And no one said anything about you being promiscuous. Elise just said her brother might want to marry you. Anyway, you’re dodging the question. Don’t you want to tell us about your new lover?

Danielle: Not particularly.

Elise: Awww.

Jean: Fair enough. I guess it falls to me to keep the convo going. Matt is simply the greatest lover I’ve never had full sex with.

Danielle gets up and gets another bottle of wine. Elise gets a handful of cheese curls and offers the rest to Jean. Jean shakes her head.

Elise: What does that mean?

Jean: (deep breath) It means we’ve not had actual sex. You know, his dick in me?

Danielle: Why the hell not?

Jean: He says that anticipation makes it so much better.

Elise: It does.

Danielle: (nods) Yes, indeed. How has he built the anticipation?

Jean: Well, he teases me.

Elise: (loudly) Details, wench!

Jean: (laughs) Well- A text comes through her cell. She looks at it. Take this for example: He just sent me a text saying, “Imagine me trailing feathery kisses over your belly and down to your waist.” I read that, and felt myself get a little moist.

Danielle: Really? What else?

Jean: He sent me an e-mail this morning describing how he’d slowly peel my clothes off, kissing every part of me that is revealed. When I was nude, he’d trail his fingertips down my body, then kiss his way back up. Finishes her wine, and refills her glass. Her hands are unsteady. He knows I have a vampire kink, and in that e-mail said that he’d also bite my neck like he needed my blood.

Danielle: (Hand to her throat) Oh my.

Elise: (shifts in her seat) That’s hot.

Jean: It continues. He said that he wants me to imagine him tracing the outline of my sex through my panties. And then, he will slide his finger up, over me, and then slip it into my underwear.

Elise: Are you willing to loan him out on occasion, Jeannie?

Jean: (laughs) What about your “masterful” guy?

Elise: (grins) He’s great for hard & fast, but sometimes, slow and tender is the way to go.

Danielle: True. That’s why I started dating Emma.

To be continued…