Tag Archives: Feck

My Dream Funeral

Billy as The Grim Reaper Art by Ariel Olivetti.
Billy as The Grim Reaper Art by Ariel Olivetti. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Yes, I have a dream funeral. Feck off.

 

 

 

One of my friends will dress up as the Grim Reaper, stand at the head of my coffin and say nothing. Another friend will have rigged my coffin with a semi catapult so that half way through the eulogy, my corpse will suddenly sit up and point at the front row. At the same time, a recording of my voice will play, “You’re next, feckers.” After the funeral, my friends will dress me in a Superman costume, take me up in a C-135

 

DC Comics' casts pays tribute to The Man of St...
DC Comics’ casts pays tribute to The Man of Steel. Art by Tom Grummett. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

transport, and at 50,000 feet, chuck me out the back. That will be epically awesome.

 

 

 

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Rob Meet Robby II

A few weeks ago, while skipping though Carroll Park – What? Yes, skipping. Feck off. – I ran into my much snarkier younger self. You can read the first meeting here. Anyhoo, I’m sitting at my favorite cafĂ© yesterday, and guess who shows up? Yep. That little fecker.

I used to where these? Gah!
I used to wear these? Gah!
As he climbs up on a stool next to me, I see he’s wearing a blue and black plaid shirt, blue jeans and Jack Purcell’s. Anyone remember these? There were fecking hideous. We called them “Fish heads.”

We’re poor, fecker. He shakes his head in evident disgust. You really suck.

Thanks, Robby. I totally forgot about the linked minds thing. Oh, crap. I hope he doesn’t

Who is Rebecca? And why are you picturing her- I clamp my hand over his mouth.

Silence! I kill you!

He pulls my hand away. You can’t, dumbass. If you kill me, you kill you, too.

Heaven help me, it almost seems worth it. It’s meaningless, Robby. What do you want now?

To know more of my future, duh! You didn’t answer me the last time we spoke.

I’m still not going to.

Why not?

Because no matter how much I wish I could spare you some of the horrifying shit you’re going to have to deal with in a few years, it is going to prepare you to appreciate those you find later in life so much more.

What kind of shit?

I’m afraid I can’t tell you that, either. You might not be able to deal with it if you have foreknowledge. As much as I wish to spare you this, I’m going to have to be selfish, and not warn you. There is someone too important to me to risk losing by sparing you.

So, we did find someone. And she is worth it? The whatever I have to go through?

She’s worth that, and so much more.

That’s good. What kind of stuff can you tell me about?

There’s this cool technology that allows you to use computers by touching the screen.

Get out.

They have new TV’s. This tech makes them thinner, lighter, and prettier. They are called high-definition televisions.

60".  Weighs lbs.
60″. Weighs 120lbs.

Holy crap. Remember when they were bigger all over?

I sigh. Yes.I also remember when one cost $1200. I hate being this old.

60" CRT. Weight 450lbs.
60″ CRT. Weight 450lbs.

My First Poll

In two more days, National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short, begins. As you know, I’ll be participating. I’m actually going to attempt a romance novel. Well, action/romance, but still. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Guys really can write romance novels that women are interested in (if they have read them, or get help from women they know). But that’s not important. What is important is I have created my first poll. “Why?” you ask. Because I want your opinion. So, do me a solid? Vote in the poll? Thanks.