Tag Archives: heartbreak

Grrr, Grr, and Grrr, again.

I recently finished reading a romance novel. No, I’m not ashamed to admit it. I read pretty much everything. No, I’m not giving you the title, nor am I linking to it. I only do that with stuff I like, and this was not one of them. Holy crap this book was poorly written. Not just with clunky sentence structure, and flat characters, but it was like the author had a checklist of romance novel tropes and ticked off each one. See what I did there? I didn’t even mention whether the author is male or female. Yes, males write romance novels, too. I’m trying my hand at one.

“But, Rob, didn’t you write a post about arrogant writers a couple of days ago? Aren’t you being a hypocrite?”

Yes, I did write said post, and no, I’m not being a hypocrite. Here’s why: This post isn’t really about that book, it’s actually about a particular trope within it. One with ties to the real world. Big ones. I’ll explain. About the mid-point of the story is the obligatory break up scene. I’ll give the author credit: They didn’t go with the fight and break up, nor the misunderstanding and break up. No, it can about a week later. I guess you could call it the fallout break up. Or the post-fight break up. Okay, so maybe it was the fighting break up. Back to the point I was trying to make.

The female lead is having a conversation with the male where she says she just wants to be friends (ouch). Then, she goes on to tell him how wonderful, and amazing this guy is (also “ouch”). At this time, I rage quit reading; I tossed the book across the room, and punched a wall. Why? Because that is the most aggravating, and bullshit thing ever for me*. Every time I read it, or worse, hear it, I want to scream: “If he (or I) is so fucking great, why don’t you want to be with him* (or me)?!”

Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with being “friendzoned”. I have a few female friends that I see as folks who are fun to hang out with. What I do take issue with is the inherent lie in the “you’re a wonderful guy*” speech. Evidently, there is something you find wrong with wanting to be with him* (or me). For Feck’s Sakes, be honest with him* (or me). Tell me where the guy* screwed up. Help him* out so he* doesn’t keep messing up relationships, and going years between them. Especially, if during the “You’re a wonderful guy*” speech, you tell him* you want him* to be happy. If any of that is really true, you’d want him* to improve his* chances, right?

*Note: This rant is from a heterosexual point of view because that’s what I am. I’m not edging anyone out intentionally. The same things are for any and all relationships. If you’re gonna break up with someone, maybe be honest with them? Also, that book makes me want to stay away from them for a while.

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Love And In Love.

“I did as you asked, Granddad.”

“How did it, go, my boy?”

“How you thought it would. She’s not in love with me.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her that I was going to try to get her to fall in love with me.”

“And?”

“She said don’t. Be who I am.”

“Then that’s the end of the relationship. It’s not going to go any further.”

“Cynical much, Granddad?”

“Has she talked about the future with you?”

“Well… no.”

“You see?”

“But she says she’s scared.”

“Let me guess: She doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“Um.”

“As I said, my boy, your relationship with her isn’t going to go any further.”

“But… I’m in love with her.”

“I know. And it’s hard to realize that the one who matters the most to you doesn’t feel the same. Now you can move forward and find someone who would love you the way you love her.”

“I don’t think that will happen.”

“With that attitude, it won’t.”

“What do I do, Granddad?”

“Here, wipe your face. There’s no point in crying over it. I know it hurts, but you can’t force someone to love you.”

“I know. But what should I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to do whatever it takes to win her.”

“How long have you been wooing her again?”

“Almost a year.”

“And you’ve gotten no further than her saying ‘I love you.’ She won’t talk about a future with the two of you because she doesn’t see one with the two of you together.”

“How do you know?”

“Have you talked about the future with her?”

“Yes. Many times.”

“And how did she react?”

“She said it sounded nice.”

“No, how did she sound? Was there any enthusiasm?”

“No, Granddad.”

“Sounds like she told you how she was feeling about the two of you being together.”

“Then why did she tell me that she loved me?”

“Why did she say it in the first place? Did you ever ask her?”

“She said it was something I needed to hear.”

“That’s telling.”

“I’ve been an idiot, huh?”

“Not at all, my boy. You’ve been in love. There’s nothing wrong with taking a risk. It shows you what kind of person you are.”

“I’m not going to put myself out there like this again. It hurts too much.”

“I never took you for a coward, my boy. I thought you were a man.”

“I am, Granddad.”

“A man wouldn’t allow a set back to keep him down.”

“…”

“Would he?”

“No, sir.”

“What did you learn from this?”

“I’ve learned to listen to what isn’t said, as well as what is.”

“Very good. Now go wash up. Grandmom has dinner ready.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my boy. It’s what grandfather’s are for.”